On the occasion of Mother's Day - a story of self-love and how I found it

I've always loved hearts. When I was little, every kid used to have a sign in my kindergarten - the heart was mine. It stayed with me ever since. 

Last week, I got this beautiful heart shaped candle from a lovely client. I lit it today, and the topic of love appeared. In particular, the topic of loving and accepting ourselves. 

A topic that hugely impacted the way I run my business, how I show up professionally, and how I market myself, on social media, and beyond. Love and work, yes they can go hand in hand!

It was a long journey for me, to get to love and accept myself. And I thought I did love and accept myself. I achieved a lot of things, I was successful in the things I did, I was confident, and I was proud of where I got to.

Yet, something was never fulfilling me... Deep inside I felt something was not ok. It seemed like I had to work harder and harder to get the success. Like the more I worked, it was never enough, I was expected to do more. To get the appreciation. To get really, the love I was craving for. It was getting really tiring. But I pushed it away, and found excuses not to really go there.

Until one day, when somehow everything got shaken, broken, and I totally lost my confidence. I was in a stage of my life when I simply couldn't "do things" the way I did before. I couldn't achieve things the way I did anymore. I became a mom. This phase of my life was not about doing things, but rather of letting go and feeling.

It was new. It was foreign territory. I felt stuck and powerless. My dose of appreciation through work, through external things and achievements was not fulfilled anymore. I suddenly found myself in this new space, not validated from the outside, and my cup of self-love that was constantly being filled from the outside was getting emptier and emptier. I was craving it and needing it. But not getting it in the way I knew it worked. And I only knew that way at that time.

It was hard. Challenging. Heartbreaking. I remember one day I was sitting in front of the big mirror, taking up the advice of a professional, to keep looking at myself and tell myself all the things that I loved about myself, that I actually love myself. I did it for weeks, every single day. It didn't work. I was trying to achieve something that deep inside, I didn't believe in. There was no more fake it till you make it. This strategy quickly expired. I got to the point to actually start facing myself.

Motherhood launched me on a journey. That when I can't look for love outside, how can I look within. I went through a lot of techniques, tried a lot of things to help myself. Many things worked, many didn't. But it wasn't till I found ThetaHealing that I could really start experiencing what unconditional love is, what it means to me, and how can I access it without doing anything for it.

This was not conditioned. I didn't have to finally do anything or achieve anything for it. I didn't have to finally work hard for it. Hence the name, unconditional love.

My conscious mind didn't understand this. This is why telling myself that I love myself as I was looking in the mirror didn't work. I just got so angry! Because something in my subconscious didn't believe it. And as science has shown, 90% of everything we do is run by our subconscious.

I had to go to my subconscious to explore what was the belief I had around love, clear out the parts that limited me, and then I could fully believe that I can love and accept myself. Without needing anything or anyone to feel that.

It changed the way I felt about being a mother, and how I related to my child. And it changed the way I felt about the relationship with my mother. It actually started changing every single relationship in my life, including all my work relations, client relations, relations with colleagues, competition, everyone.

​It was a beautiful, heartwarming, relieving experience. I know I am loved, and I know I love myself. This is stronger than any confidence I experienced before.

On knowing this, I can now look straight in my eyes in the mirror, and know how it feels to love myself.

Once I tapped into this new feeling, I started noticing differences in how I communicated. If I felt loved, I communicated from a place of fulfilledness, connectedness, I felt more genuine and true to myself. This connected me more with the people I related with. This type of communication, the marketing that comes from this place brought me honest and beautiful conversations, connection time, and also amazing leads, trust, the best business relationships.

If I felt the lack of it, I communicated from a place of scarcity and need. With this feeling, I felt not good enough, inadequate, not worthy, and I also felt bad about promoting myself, my services, communicating about my offerings. Sometimes I would not even want to show up and be around anyone, as I was in pain.

As Mother's Day is coming up, no wonder this topic became active and made me reflect. On sharing this, I feel my journey becomes complete.

As Mother's Day is coming up this weekend in NZ, it is also no coincidence that I chose to hold my first ThetaHealing course on this very weekend. It is my coincidental tribute to motherhood, the celebration of feeling loved, and knowing it is in there, in me, in us, ready to be accessed anytime, unconditionally. And this is of course no coincidence.

I feel grateful. I feel happy. And I wanted to share this because if there is anyone out there who now feels lost and stuck and unfulfilled, not quite getting the self-love like I was, and running into work to feel validated, feel accepted, feel loved, I trust this might give you hope.

That yes, you have it in you, too, and there are ways to find it - whether you are a mom, a dad, a parent-to-be, or a child of a mom and dad.

This is why I am excited to share one way, the ThetaHealing® way, this weekend.❤️

Here is to unconditional love. Would you like to know how it feels to have it, anytime, anywhere? If so, say yes! ​